I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
is wine microwaveable?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize