ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
