I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize