but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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