no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
