She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dick very happy bro
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
