Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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