so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
