in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
