i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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