You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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