put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize