He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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