Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
