You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
