you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
