this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
