so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize