You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
