loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
