I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
