Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
