I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
