DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
