Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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