Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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