okay pat passed out under dana's car
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
it's like iHOP with fire
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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