Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
