Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Found the puke drawer
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
