did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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