I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
