hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
