u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
