thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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