Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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