My hand turned me down
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
