it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
