Welp...herpes.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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