i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Is it because I queefed?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
