She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
