Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
