He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
