quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dignity is for republicans.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
