Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
