waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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