Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Houston, we have a blender
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize