Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize