I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
