i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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