Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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