David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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