Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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