I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
