i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we're making bets on your personal life
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
