After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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