Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
